Sunday, 30 July 2017

View From The WIndow

Well it's raining again, we have had a couple of days where torrential showers have ruined 'summer', it is cold this morning and if I look to the north it is like looking at Mordor despite a bit of sun poking through now and again in the east. I heard scratching noises the other day in the wall of the Post Office and thought I was going mad, when I went out the back I found the lid of my main drain up and two geezers powerjetting, I pulled them up and they said they had knocked at the door, I have a bell. Next door was flooded and they were trying to unblock the pipe, although it is never our fault whoever is living next door blames us despite that drain not being our sewage drain. It transpired that it was blocked with baby wipes, an uncomfortable lesson for next door.

My internet went down again as after one torrential shower we lost power for about 45 minutes and the sudden shock fried my broadband box. I phoned BT the next morning, and explained my problem, he couldn't find my account, they never can, god knows what software they use, "is that S T E W or S T U A for Stewart" no it's G E O for George, "oh wait, found you, number 111" no it's 99/101. He also said my account number was wrong, well it's the one you bill me on matey, Brains got off the hook when I mentioned I had fibre to the house, "another department I'll transfer you." This lady told me I would have an engineer out first thing in the morning, it took me ten minutes to stop laughing and answer her.

Sure enough my man turned up around nine, took one look at my set up and pronouced it bad workmanship, or womanship as it had been the girl with attitude that had put it in. This lad was brilliant, he moved the broadband box, attached the battery back up which M'lady hadn't bothered with and renewed the horrible black wire with a white one on the outside wall, in actual fact he renewed the whole deal and I was back online by lunchtime. M'lady needs sacked but of course that would be impossible these days being a protected species i.e. female.

Well done that man.

You can bank at the PO and last week in came what can only be described as a dizzy blonde, but not in a Marilyn Monroe way, more like a Phyllis Diller way. She pushed some cheques through the slot, "put them in for me", no, you need an envelope, as I pushed them back. Now these envelopes are like hens teeth and I am only supposed to keep an emergency supply. I didn't know Natwest had closed says she, well they must have kept it a secret from you because the rest of Lancashire knew thought I. I handed over two envelopes, the first came back and wouldn't go into the system, hang on, you have put the cheque details not your account details, envelope number one hit the deck. The second envelope went in but the machine informed me the number was Barclays not Natwest, envelope number two in flames, I was five envelopes down to do two transactions. She bimbled in the other day, pushed an envelope through the slot and it was filled with coins and cheques, see where it says "Cheque Deposit Envelope" says I, no coins, but they told me I could do that, no they didn't. Another two envelopes gone before things were sorted.

My son is going on holiday to the Dominican Republic and has had his holiday booked for quite some time, now with only days to go he has been told that if his family all want to sit together, one a six year old girl, they have to pay £77 extra. Where in the country today would you be expected to leave your child sitting for seven hours in the midst of complete strangers? Not only that if you think about it it must be a deliberate policy to seperate groups in order to get the £77. The other one that gets me is that you have to pay to put your luggage in the hold, how mad is that, that's what the hold is for, then of course with no one putting luggage in the hold the boarding is held up while they look for volunteers to put their luggage in the hold.

Pick a seat, well not any seat obviously.

It seems to be a week about children, there was the five year old girl fined by council Enforcement Officers, catchy title, for selling her lemonade to people on their way to a pop concert I believe, a young entrepeneur crushed by officialdom for at best a few quid, but of course it could have been poisoned and a health hazard to the concert goers, yeah right. Enforcement Officers, Community Police Officers, have a good look at them, would you give them a job?

And now we have children as young as five being expelled from school, read it again and ask yourself why a five year old should be so disruptive that they have to be expelled from a classroom where an adult is in charge. Of course the upcoming documentary will focus on the needs of the little darlings, well I know what they need and it isn't special. I only ever saw one person being disruptive in a class on one occassion in all my years in education, and he stopped dead as soon as wee Joe McCallister entered the room, took his punishment and sat sheepishly down.

When did it fall to the remit of a mayor, even one of our capital city, to mouth off that certain world leaders would not be welcome in his city because he didn't like them. We have opened our doors and given expensive dinners to all sorts of madmen and dictators, even shook hands with killers, but for some reason the President of America, democratically elected, whether you like it or not, is not to be welcomed. Both Sadiq Khan and Andy Burnham in Manchester would sell their mothers for votes.

And you can give up on Democracy, with the likes of the unelected Gina Miller sticking her oar into Brexit I now learn that an outfit called ClientEarth, owned by an eco maniac with plenty of cash has set his sights on Europe and holds governments to account over signing daft deals on emissions etc. which of course they think no one will take seriously, but have left them vulnerable in the eyes of the law, should someone have oodles of cash. So basically we have unelected, sanctimonius know it alls forcing government policy, but only if it agrees with their ideology. And this is only the start.

Creationists have rebuilt a replica of Noah's Ark for $100,000,000 and are convinced the plans are correct as they have scoured the bible and texts to find them, now, big as the hulk is, it should be quite plain to anyone looking at it that it cannot hold two of everything on the planet including dinosaurs. Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad.

And on a happier note, good work by the Egyptian tank crew who, seeing a speeding car coming towards their checkpoint drove over it and crushed it. The car contained three Jihadi's and an ark full of explosives which went up shortly after the tank backed off the wreck. A great many lives were saved by this action.


  1. Just think of all the figures you could buy for $100,000,000!

  2. Well, I'm frankly astonished firstly that you got through to BT, secondly that they arranged for an engineer to visit the next day and thirdly that he turned up. When my meter blew up as a result of the Storm Desmond power outage it took Scottish Power a year to replace it and twice their engineer failed to appear despite written appointments. On neither occasion did he phone to explain either before or after the non-visits. When I complained the helpful lady at what laughingly passes for their Customer Service Department explained to me that their engineers were "very busy". I have now dumped Scottish Power for another bunch of clowns.

  3. I'm astonished that anyone bothers with BT myself. Otherwise, post well up to your usual standard of observation.

  4. Marvellous musings, George, back with all guns blazing.

  5. I am tied in with BT for the moment plus I didn't want a potential disaster on changing, but once this is up I told them I don't care how bad the provider is I am leaving.